I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
