the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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