Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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