I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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