What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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