How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
