a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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