OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize