Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Farmville is her only friend.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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