I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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