Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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