Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
