I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
OPIZZABONMYDICK
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Randomize
