At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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