worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He did a backflip because drugs
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
