you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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