Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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