Umm I'm too high to move.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
