so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
i've created a new STD.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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