actually, I'm a sock model
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
