p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
