one two three fourrrrnication!
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
