Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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