3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
