youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I need to stop coming to work sober
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
