One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
