your room smells of hookers.
And success
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
