so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
