Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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