you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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