I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
