oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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