Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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