There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
