I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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