I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
