I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
