what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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