I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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