Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
