he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
