I seem to have left my pride at pride
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
