Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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