Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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