sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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