We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Randomize
