Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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