god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
