Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm always down for nudity.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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