I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
