last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
