As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
