Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
